i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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