Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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