I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize