talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
