Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
