He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
