CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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