i don't like sucking hair
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
