i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
