he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
