Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
