how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need a beard to bite.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
