you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i came on her dog
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
