People in love make me want to vomit
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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