I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
