Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
