Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
