Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
