you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
