dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
