so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Even my vagina gasped.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
