Princesses don't give blow jobs
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize