Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
