I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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