Cold hands, warm shart.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I faked an abortion last night.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
