And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize