So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize