i may or may not be watching the land before time
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
