Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
