Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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