i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
