Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
