i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
