bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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