FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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