What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
