your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
