and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
