I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This is classic penis vs brain.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
