i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it's like iHOP with fire
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
