Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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