I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
