You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
