If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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