Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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