The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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