Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
