but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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