Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
