Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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