I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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