names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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