Sorry, I don't speak sober.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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