some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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