i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
