going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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