I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
