the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
